Step 1 for Living a Life You Love: Get Your $$$h*t Together!!

So, some say money can’t buy happiness…

Maybe it can’t, but you know what it can buy? Food, shelter, clothing, and stability!! I don’t know about you, but I love having food and a roof over my head. I also love clothes! It’s a creative expression of my personality. (Plus walking around naked is frowned upon in my culture.)

You know what else money can buy? A car, a plane ticket, art supplies, plants, massage chairs, pets, games, hot tubs, and anything else you can think of!!

The first step is to find income. We should all be finding a source of income in order to not only survive, but an income source that can help us thrive! Use the ABC’s: Get A job. Get a Better job. Work toward a Career!

The second step is to budget your money, even when you feel like you don’t have enough to budget! You have to tell your money where to go, instead of the other way around! See below for resources to help with this.

The third step: DON’T BUY $H!T YOU DON’T NEED!!!!! You have to prioritize- do you need new clothes, shoes, etc? Ok, then find a good deal and spend what you need to spend. No, you don’t really need anything? Good! Watch your savings grow!! Instead of being addicted to shopping, become addicted to saving!!!

Fourth step: CONTINUE to GROW YOUR INCOME! Keep applying for better jobs, get a side hustle if you need to and are able, sell things you don’t need. Get creative! Get addicted to saving, and growing your money knowledge.

Here is a list of resources to check out:

Link your bank account to the Mint app- mint.com and start tracking your expenses and income today!! It’s completely free!! (I am not gaining anything but good karma by recommending this app 🥰)

https://www.marketwatch.com/column/the-moneyist

https://millennialmoney.com/51-best-money-tips

A Proven Plan for Financial Success | DaveRamsey.com

You can read more about my personal financial journey below:

When I was homeless and jobless in 2011, I filled out more job applications than I could count. I drove 7 hours north of home in the Mojave Desert to the Sierra Nevada Mountains- and pitched a tent in 4 feet of snow- so I could interview for a social work position.

After a three month process of multiple interviews, aptitude testing, and fingerprinting my 18-month old son knocked my coffee over on my reference sheet, crumpled it up, and ripped it. Without resources like a cell phone, car, and money it had taken me until the deadline- to get in touch with three people to provide as references, go to the library to print it, and get to the office. I turned it in, wrinkled and stained, and did not get the job.

Although I was enjoying the beauty of the mountain wilderness, soaking daily in natural hot springs, and feeling spiritually fulfilled- I was at my wit’s end being turned down for every job I applied to!! I was being told I was over-qualified for food service and retail jobs, and was under-qualified for many other jobs I applied for. I received $450/month in welfare assistance. I rented a room in a couple’s house for $450/month… while continuing my job search and eating nothing but food bank donations and church meals.

Feeling utterly defeated and hopeless, I read about a mother in a similar predicament who was in college, using her left-over grant and scholarship money to live on. I applied to an online Master’s degree program and used my student loan money to survive the recession. I used it to buy a car, and other basic necessities. I used that money to move back home (8 months pregnant with my second child) to Ohio and live in my dad’s basement. I applied for daycare assistance and dropped off my 6 week old and 4 year old sons to go to “work” for my now $600/month welfare assistance. I did this work at the local job center, helping people build resumes and practice interview skills. In my free time, I was applying for as many jobs as I could find.

One day, a landscaping company came in to do interviews. I interviewed and told them I had several years of landscaping experience before I had my first child. They hired me on the spot. I excelled in my position and worked my way up to having my own crew and supervising a large route. I was in peak health and I was making $11/hour, which was enough to keep my kids fed and a roof over our heads. I was a pro at not only tear out and planting, but also knew every yard, every bump and every pit. I mowed each yard with precision, lifting the blades to just the right height for each strip of ground. I made perfect stripes, rotating vertical, horizontal, and diagonal cuts. I edged each yard to perfection, working through the burn in my arms from the long days of non-stop weed eating, and non-stop mulch shoveling I had to do the first few months to prove myself.

One day my legs began to hurt. This was more than my usual muscle fatigue. The pain became unbearable. I cried on my way to work, not knowing how I would make it through the day. I thought that eventually the pain would subside, but it didn’t. I continued this way for about a month before I realized I wasn’t getting better, and that I would have to get off my feet.

I found a job paying $9/hour working second and third shift at an inpatient addiction recovery program. The pay cut was a major blow, but I knew I would be able to sit most of the time, and I could work on school during the night shift, between rounds. I was working 50-60 hours per week, double shifts, and still working on my Master’s degree. I was barely sleeping and barely seeing my kids. As if I wasn’t busy enough, I took free classes through the job center, hoping to find a better solution. One of the classes was hosted by the local community action agency. The teachers were great people who really understood and cared about what we were going through. I knew that was where I wanted to work. I began volunteering there, and it finally paid off when I was offered a job for $14/hour!!

I worked mostly day shifts, with my kids’ daycare in the same plaza. When I taught evening classes I was able to bring my children with me since child care was provided. I worked hard, excelled at my job, and innovated new programs. My main job function was to teach a class called “Getting Ahead.” I had classes of 10-20 adults, all seeking to better their lives. I was still working on getting ahead in life, but knowing that I could relate really helped my clients trust me. One of the classes I taught was at the inpatient treatment facillity I had been working for!

While I worked at this job, I took classes taught by the other facilitators, including a business class. I had been buying and selling vintage clothing throughout my homeless adventures in California. I wanted to turn it into a full-fledged business. I had worked so hard- developing my business plan, stocking up inventory, and getting all the legal stuff checked off my startup list. I had gained so much momentum- and then I got sick. After a few weeks of rest I was still not better. I resigned, under duress due to missing too much work.

Within the same month I was told that my lease would not be renewed under the new ownership of my building. And I got bedbugs. I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Luckily I had saved a moderate emergency fund, and was able to move in with my mom. I struggled to find a suitable job and was unemployed for a few months. It was the end of my Master’s program and although I was proud of my accomplishment, I was dismayed by the lack of responses my resume was getting.

My dad’s contracting business was booming, and he needed an office manager. I took on the role for a few months and worked for the family business, along with 2 of my brothers. In the meantime I looked for a nonprofit job to get back to my passion, and to qualify for student loan forgiveness.

I found an overworked, under-paid, stressful job as a school-based mental health worker for $14.75/hour. It was a 1.5 hour round trip daily commute. My kids were spending a lot of time at daycare, and by the time we got home it was dinner and bedtime. I made sure to make the most of my time with them by snuggling and reading stories every night, even though I was dead tired.

During this time I took on a job as a singer at a church for $100/week. It was just enough to be able to start saving on a bigger scale. I ended up meeting my husband there! I also became a foster mom- to pay it forward for the time I was in foster care, and my foster mom who saved my life and got me on track. (More on these stories to come!)

A blessing in the form of a job offer from my kids’ daycare presented itself after 7 months of the previous job. They offered me $15/hour to spend the day with my kids!! Only a 15 minute daily commute. I spent 3 years there. I loved the people I worked with, and they were so flexible- allowing me to change my schedule as needed to accommodate my family and giving me weeks and months off as needed for foster care and health issues.

I got married during this time!! No longer a single mom, we saved so much money by being able to split the bills, and not needing daycare since my husband works from home. Even at a discounted rate of $100/week per child, daycare is expensive!! I ended up leaving the daycare when it shut down due to the pandemic, as my doctor was concerned about my health issues- including lung disease.

When my doctor cleared me to return to work in August 2021 I took a social work job for $20/hour!! Between that and my husband’s income, it became so much easier to take care of our 7 children (+ foster kids). We made a good amount selling his house after we got a great deal on our 5 bedroom house that is perfect for our family- enough to replace our entire savings we spent on our down payment. We were finally able to save up a decent emergency fund. We are able to take vacations, and afford some of the luxuries we have always dreamed of.

We still don’t buy sh*t we don’t need, unless it is a well thought out purchase that provides benefit to our family- like our massage chair and hot tub which help with my health issues. And benefit the whole family! In exchange for those big purchases we bypassed other expensive purchases like new furniture (our old couches are terrible but hot tub), home remodeling (paneled walls and 80’s wallpaper borders are fine with me), and new cars (beat up minivan with a screwed on bumper- no payment).

Now I am coaching a few days a week, depending on my clients’ needs, and I have time for all of the appointments!!

I hope this story gives you hope. It’s a difficult journey but it’s never too late to start!!